I bought some tools of destruction after discovering I couldn’t remove the skirting board with just a claw hammer. I got a stubby hammer because I thought it might be useful. I got a crowbar and a set of small chisels. I got what I used to call a dolphin grip when I was little. I got a bradawl, for poking things. I also got a small spirit level, but I don’t really know what for.
I noticed tools are often black and yellow. I don’t know the reason for this. Maybe it’s to warn people that they’re dangerous, like wasps.
A man in a video on the internet said it was easy to remove skirting boards with a chisel and a crowbar and a hammer. It really wasn’t. His skirting boards were modern and small and stuck on with tiny nails. My skirting boards are old and huge and, if the picture rail nails are anything to go by, stuck on with huge nails. Despite trying the man’s technique, the skirting board still wouldn’t budge.
Uncle Mills, another man in a video on the internet, said that because the skirting board was old-fashioned, I’d need something more substantial than a crowbar to prise the skirting board away from the wall.
Uncle Mills said I’d only get the leverage I needed from… a pickaxe. A pickaxe!
Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Homebase we go.
