Colin was complaining that I never use my room. I never use my room because I don’t like the décor in there. There’s yellow-painted wood chip wallpaper on the walls and white-painted wood chip wallpaper on the ceiling. It really has to go. Colin suggested I sort it out. I told him I needed help. He helped — reluctantly.

First, the room needed emptying. It contained various pieces of furniture left by the previous owner and it contained a lot of my stuff and it contained a few bits of Colin’s stuff. We moved some of the furniture and stuff into Colin’s room, some of the stuff and furniture into the bedroom and some of the stuff and furniture onto the landing. The room was then empty; we were ready to start.

Mr Perkins strips wallpaper
Mr Perkins strips wallpaper
We shut Mr Perkins in the room, and let him let rip.

We didn’t really do that. We covered the carpet with dust sheets, tuned the radio to Absolute 80s, picked up a wallpaper stripper each and set to work. Some of the wallpaper came off easily; some of it didn’t. Mainly the paper I worked on came off easily; mainly the paper that Colin worked on didn’t. This discouraged Colin, until he moved on to a different piece of wallpaper. Then, he discovered it was much more fun when you could pull off huge sheets of it at once.

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