I like to think there’s a difference between having a bit of fun and vandalising other people’s property. Some people may not respect this difference. I have no proof, but I do suspect. You may think that I am being unable to take a joke, but since when was gouging out lines (presumably with a knife) in someone’s non-stick frying pan a joke?

We decided to leave the cupboard for now, although we did stick some sticky things on today to see how it would go. Got to let him calm down a bit. But, right, what if I froze my cutlery, and slightly hid his at the back of his cupboard. He’d automatically think it was his, wouldn’t he? But it wouldn’t be, it’d be mine, and therefore well within my human rights to freeze.

*evil gleam*

Frozen cutlery.

I’ve still not seen him today. He’s been to the library. I’m surprised he dare leave the kitchen! I am already plotting my next trick!

If only I had this much ability to do my dissertation. By Friday.

Apparently, he saw neither the beauty nor the humour behind the frozen cutlery and smashed it into the sink. Oh, well.

…tonight, it’s his whole set of cutlery! I put it in my freezer drawer this time, hidden at the back, because it opens more than his does and I don’t want to spill it all over the place. I’ll check back in five hours or so, to see if it’s frozen. I need to time its extrication carefully; this morning was close enough.

I took the container out of his drawer and tipped the fork-in-ice onto the draining board. I was just drying the container to put it back in the cupboard to hide the evidence, when the door opened. Luckily, it was only Flatmate-Zaheer, who didn’t seem to notice my guilty reaction to his entrance. Nor did he notice the block of ice on the draining board till I pointed it out. He asked was it me, but I denied it. Naughty Caity!

Flatmate-Colleen said it had gone by 2 p.m., so I need to take it out when it’s solid, but before VictimFlatmate-Stephen goes for his breakfast. Unfortunately, I have no idea what time that is, but I imagine it’s the same time every day. Like Colleen put it tonight on the way to the chippy, he probably has a shit at 8.30 every morning.

As promised:

1. The cone in the cupboard. Flatmate-Colleen and I were coming back from the SU a bit merry, and outside the building, we found one of those ‘wet floor’ cones the cleaners use when they mop the floor. We picked up and took it in in typical student fashion. We put it outside Flatmate-Stephen’s door as a nice surprise for him. When he found it (the next day), he heard me and Colleen in her room, so he quietly put it outside her door, then I, annoyingly, walked backwards into it. Not to be outdone, upon spotting the original cone in the kitchen, I concocted a Plan. The plan was to put one cone outside his door and giggle a lot so he knew we were up to something and come out, which he did eventually. He thought that was it though, until he went to make a cup of tea and found the other cone in the cupboard. We’d been dying to laugh. He reacted by going, “mm,” as he is wont to do. We burst out laughing.
2. Flatmate-Stephen’s girlfriend. One day, we were in the kitchen chatting, and Colleen noticed the mop had its head in the air rather than in the bucket. Someone, possibly Colleen, said something about dancing with it, then I spoke forth that it was Stephen’s girlfriend, to which he responded that it was more attractive than me. The next day, I cut out eyes (complete with eyelashes!), a nose and a mouth, coloured in with highlighter pens, and stuck a loop of Sellotape onto the back of each. I went to the kitchen, but heard noises coming from it. I took the stuff back in my room and went back to see who it was. Of course, it was Stephen, wasn’t it? I made a cup of tea, then went back later, after I’d given him time to finish his ironing, for that was what he was doing. I peered through the glass in the door, only to see him at the sink! He saw me, I froze, then disappeared and came back (sans facial features) and went back in the kitchen. “What was all that about?” he asked. I told him I was just going mad. Time was ticking, and I was meant to be going out. Luckily, he said then that he was going to do some work, so I thought that was my chance, so I stuck the face on and tied a j-cloth around its neck as a dress. Beautiful. I took a photo with my phone and went and showed Colleen, who couldn’t stop laughing, and she took more photos with her camera. It was then time for me to go out, so I left her with instructions to tell me what his reaction was. Apparently, he thought it was funny! After the weekend, the cleaners came and mopped the floor, thus killing Stephen’s poor girlfriend. He was devastated.
3. The fork in the freezer. This is the mischief I was up to tonight. I was being sad and reading the Big Brother web page, although I’m terribly behind in it (no telly!), when I came across a prank they pulled: they put someone’s shoes in a bowl of water, which they then put in the freezer. Now, I do think shoes is going a bit far, but I thought I could put a food item in instead. Unfortunately, the only kind of food item in his cupboard that (probably) wouldn’t be ruined by freezing or being immersed in water was a bag of pasta, which floated. So I used a fork from his cupboard instead. I just hope I’ve put it in the right freezer shelf!

Oh, the jolly japes we have in our kitchen!

And I have plans for more!

I hope so, but I’d rather have gone to the beach with Flatmate-Colleen and Flatmate-Zaheer.

Hmm, I wonder if Zaheer’s forgiven me for last night’s piece of Relevance Theory failure - on his part, not mine. The conversation went thus:

In Colleen’s room, with Have I got news for you? on the telly.

Zaheer: Caity, how are you?

Caity: I’m watching the telly.

Zaheer: I asked you how you were, not what you were doing.

Colleen: [To Z] I think she meant she doesn’t want to talk to you (because she’s watching the telly). [To C] Am I right?

Caity: [grins, nods and goes back to watching the telly]