We never quite made it to the pub yesterday. I was about to put a face on, seeing as I hadn’t showered - again - dirty girl, but C came over all poorly-bad. He’d had more tequila than me and he also had a shot of G&T seeing as the Archers was minging. Like paint stripper, which isn’t what you expect from such a sickly-sweet drink. It must have gone orf. Well, let’s face it, it’s no-one’s favourite drink in this house.

So anyway, I put C to bed, at which point Damo came round to collect his shopping. I may have given him the impression that there was something seriously wrong, but it was just alcohol, as ever. C went to sleep for ages, then I dozed off, and we woke up much later on, and he couldn’t remember a thing after the tequilas, bless him. I won’t go into details here. I sent him out for fish and chips at some point after that, and he came back with a ton of Chinese food because the chippy wasn’t open on account of it being Sunday. We ate some of it, and have eaten more of it for dinner today. The remainder is for tea tonight and probably dinner tomorrow…

The bottle of Midori has thankfully gone, but it seems next on the list is Archers. Oh dear.

There seems to be Midori…

We will get to the pub…as soon as I can tear myself away from Bejeweled 2

Tequila bottle’s empty now. The pub is beckoning…

Have had four various-sized shots of tequila on top of nearly two cans of Budweiser and two cups of tea. No food, note. I’m meant to be getting clean and going to the pub. It’ll be the Fenny Perry at this rate, for food, seeing as the Green Dragon stops serving food at some point.

Update, 13.45: apparently, even the FP stops serving food at some point! And more lemon slices have arrived, so I’d best get back to tequila-ing.

Tequila slammers have arrived!

I asked how do you get blood out of denim, remember? Well, now I really do need to know. And to think I was so fussed about a couple of splobs of blood on it! The irony has not been lost on me. Confused? Read on!

Damo came to visit on Friday for the weekend. Me and Flatmate-Colleen were wrecked from Thursday’s escapades and not keen on the idea of going out, but when we’d had a couple of drinks, we felt better. We had a couple of pints, then it was Tequila Time at 10, then Damo showed Colleen how to do a flaming sambuca, but she was too scared (as am I) so Damo just lit it in the glass instead of her mouth. We also had, between us, more tequila, vodka, Malibu and god knows what else. Double tequilas are not good for downing in one, that’s for certain. Then it was time to go to Mondo, where Colleen showed us how to down Reef in 3 seconds. You get a straw and fold the bendy bit over the side to let the air out, then just tip it down your throat and swallow quick! I have no idea how many of them we did, but it was at least three, I think.

I was wearing flip-flops(!), but they were hurting between my toes on my right foot, so I took them off (I’m assuming that was why, anyway), then I was dancing, and I felt a bit of discomfort in the big toe on the left foot. I sat down to have a look and there was a piece of glass about a centimetre long stuck in it! I pulled it out, put it on the table and then got back up to dance, but then I slipped and landed on my arse in this huge pool of blood that had appeared, thereby covering the back of my skirt with blood. I was bleeding everywhere, asking in a surprised way if it was all mine. I was amazed by the amount of blood just from one little cut in my toe. I was taken to hospital by someone from the information office, I think, where I had to get an x-ray to see if there was any more glass in it (there wasn’t). Damo and Colleen came with me to the hospital (I’m so glad they came!). The blood was eventually cleaned off my feet and my toe was bandaged up. Don’t remember much else about it, except that the nurse was really bossy and grumpy, but then I wasn’t a good patient. I don’t remember coming back here or even how we got back here. I can’t walk properly, either. I can hobble slowly and I can hop very short distances quickly. It’s pathetic, I know. But the carnage doesn’t end there!

We went to Wivenhoe yesterday afternoon (in a taxi and with me wearing my normal shoes), and drank until the evening, when we went back to campus to meet C’s friend. We were pissed by then, I think. We went to Mondo’s again, where the staff who’d been there the night before were working again. They all remembered me, of course. I lost my bag, so I was looking all over for that, asking the bouncers at one end of Mondo, who sent me to the ones at the other end of Mondo. Colleen found it eventually somewhere. At some point, I went to the bar, leaving Damo at a table - dunno where Colleen was - then when I got back he wasn’t there, so I spent hours looking for him as well. I eventually found him sitting at the bottom of the stairs, and he thought I’d abandoned him. I had to ask Alex, the nice-looking bouncer, to go and tell Damo that I hadn’t abandoned him and that I’d been looking all over him. I was talking to the bouncers at some point asking them if Gary was working (he wasn’t) and would they tell him about what happened. The next thing I remember is that we/I wanted to leave, but I didn’t know where Colleen was. She ended up walking home, I think. I certainly wasn’t walking home and I couldn’t be arsed with taxis, but luckily, my poor little brain came up trumps with a really good idea: to go to the information desk and ask them if they’d drive us home, and it only worked! Damo said I do pathetic very well

Sunday has been most mongful and luckily, Damo’s gone away now, so we can all get back to normal

Oh, and I’m supposed to be playing rounders on Wednesday in Cambridge, then going to FAB night straight after. The roundering isn’t going to happen, is it?