I spent two days this week at a forensic linguistics workshop, where an ex-FBI agent told us about how forensic linguistics helped in identifying the Unabomber (you can read all about in this book). He talked to us about threat assessment in communications from the bad guys, telling us how to tell whether the threat looks genuine or not, and about creating a profile from the communication (written or spoken) and so on and so forth. It was all very exciting and that’s what I want to do when I grow up!

I also likes me lolcats ‘n’ cheezburgers, so me Colin sends me this: We has ur kitteh. Send ransum. Perfick.

I was telling the Hubster how amused I was at a couple of those lolcats pictures, and he came up with this one. Excellent!

There’re two new feline additions to our end of the street: two little white sibling cats. One of them has become bold and has a long, kinked tail. It comes in the house and eats Dusty’s food, Bogbrush-like. The other one has a shorter, thicker, curvier tail and is more timid, but it came in the house the other day and stole what used to be Miaowy’s fluffy, red mouse! It’s a cheeky little thing, alright. We got it back, but yesterday, it brazenly came in and took it away and then disappeared! I looked for signs of either of them, but saw none and then Dusty wanted me to take her for a walk, but she was too wussy to go far and there weren’t even any dogs around! Big scaredy-cat.

Arrived home from C’s to poor Dusty, who’d been left out all afternoon yesterday and all night last night and all day today. On the journey back home, a police car had stopped a motorist and the two policemen and the said motorist were all on the pavement, talking. Of course I didn’t rubberneck

Anyway, Dusty was waiting for me in her usual spot, peeking out as she does. Very cute. When I had parked Henry and got out, I couldn’t see her (well, she blends in with the ground and it was dark: only moonlight and a branch-filtered street light to see by. I finally discovered her rolling on the ground, inviting me to rub her tummy. Of course, I was too late as she had obviously been there for some time. She punished me by getting up before I could touch her.

Once inside and I’d watched her eat, I phoned C to let him know I’d got home safely. I was interrupted by Dusty purr-miaowing at me and sitting half way up the stairs with an expecting expression on her little furry face. This means, “Play with me!”. So, I spent the next fifteen minutes lobbing a jingly ball up the stairs for her to either bat back down to me or to grasp with her claws, leaving me to unhook it and repeat. Sometimes, she doesn’t want me to get the ball back straight away and bats my hand instead. With her claws out of course. I have quite a few scratches from her doing this. Vicious little furry-faced pusska.

She sat on my knee for a while at the pooter as I typed, but was disgruntled when I got up to switch the telly on to watch The Watcher with the rather nice Keanu Reeves. She’s back again now, although she refused to lower herself into jumping up. She is curled up and purring now.

While I’m on the subject of pussycats, I should mention the cruelty that took place on Christmas Eve: Miaowy’s owners moved house and took her with them! I miss her loads, but I have to be positive: I won’t be woken up by her at 6 a.m. wanting to be out. That morning was the last time this happened. And the last time I saw her. And I was vaguely hungover. It’s so unfair, but she is their cat, even if she did spend her evenings and nights at my house.

At Work

Hah! It turns out there are now two of us at work. Well, obviously, I’ve been there ages, but an announcement came round via email this afternoon about another one joining. It makes me so happy.

Sorrows will be drowned

Tonight

I was a bit apprehensive about tonight, what with the history and everything, but I really quite enjoyed it. And I didn’t even get completely pissed! We had a nice bar meal and a nice, civilised chat, although it could have descended into a slagging match at one stage. We were both adult enough to realise that was not constructive, however.

Unfortunately, Dusty is now being completely mad, jumping about like a loon. Actually, she was behaving oddly before I went out. Maybe she’s cross with me. There’s no sign of the Miaowser

Sobriety

Weird; this is the soberest I’ve felt since last week. I was ill on Wednesday and Thursday, extremely tired on Friday, until the evening, when I woke up (literally). Last Monday, of course I was drunk. But tonight, it wasn’t pub quiz, it was the Consultancy Wake. I drank and drank, but I feel too sober. It must be cos B said I should eat something, so I had the salad (I am on a diet!). When I eat, I don’t drink, and salad takes ages to eat. I spy a flaw…

C/Cats

I think Miaowy misses him. I think Dusty does a bit, too - but only cos I’m always out and she gets left in the house by herself for hours at a time. It seems I’m allowed a cat now, anyway, so that’s good news.

Arachnid

There was an arachnid in the corner near the ceiling before I went out tonight, but I wasn’t brave enough to do anything about it - other than go out and forget about it, temporarily. Now it has gone and I don’t know where it is.

C, why weren’t you here to kill it for me?

Yes, ok, I know the answer to that.

Squawk

Squeak
Miaow
Moo
Bleat
Cluck
WOOF!

Pub Quiz

I’ve just got home form the pub quiz. I was again in trouble with Angie, the quiz mistress. Ever since the time I drank nearly a whole (free) bottle of wine at work then went to the pub quiz and was maybe a little boisterous, she’s never forgiven me. She calls me “The Noisy Blonde.”

Anyway, my team, Matthew Kelly’s Game for a Laugh, were joint second, with two other teams. We would have been joint first if I’d have stuck with Damo’s Vietnam war instead of going for the Korean war. Grr. Anyway, we beat the other team from work and so on the whole, we did a lot better than usual

Martin said that C does C.F.D.. I asked C if he did and he said he does. Must remember to mention this to Martin.

Had a good slanging match with Damo, as ever, although Duncan and Martin joined in too. That was ok as long as they weren’t slagging me off

Observations

The moon was really big on the way to the pub quiz tonight, but on the way home, it was much smaller. I suppose it must have moved further away or something. When I got off the bus home, I noticed you could actually se the stars, so I found Orion. Orion always reminds me of an old friend. We were walking down the road together and it was right in front of us, staring back down.

The other constellation I recognise is the Plough; Ursa Major. I saw that one too.

Table Football

After beating M.F. in the ladder, I am now 15/45. I found this quite scary as I am sure I am not good enough to be his high up. Still, I won’t complain… I will soon reach an impasse, as the top 10 or so are very good. They can pass the ball and everything!

Pussycats

Dusty somehow got herself locked out just now. When she wants to be in, it sounds like she’s knocking on the door, but in actual fact, I think she just paws the door in the same way that she paws the mirror on the dressing table.

Oh Yeah…

And Damo thinks that some nuns are fit.

Each to his/her own…